I haven't been on this because my mind has been difunctional for the past week. It all finally caught up to me. All I've been doing is thinking about everything a person can possibly think of. And the thinking is leading me to be wordless with everything, and everyone. Kinda like that dude from Little Miss Sunshine. Why? Because if your wordless with everything, and everyone, you won't get blamed for some shit you really didn't do, or say. Soo I respond to everyone saying, "I don't know.." or "I don't remember.." or I just don't reply. I listen. It's my best answer. Blaaahhhh, and if I do reply, don't be mad that I'm telling you something you don't wanna hear. Sorrry, I truly doan k'yerr bitcheszz. And I have found just laughing, and smiling is the best solution. Although this week has been so shitty, I've been so grateful to just be here, phoneless and hibernating.
I don't think I'll be on here for a whileeee until I feel something really good or something. BUTTTTT:
Thank you Grahamy cracker for never failing to put a smile on my face. Thank you sisters, and Christopher for always being there with open arms, and open hearts. Thank you Mel dubby for listening, and being so happy and gay with Cobby. Thank you Gabriella for acting like a boy with me. Thank you Ateh Nat for just being so clueless, all day, err'day. Thank you Jazmin And Celynna for just spending weekends doing nothing, but having the best of times acting like lesbos'zz. Thank you Amberrr for being so cool. Thank you Andrew for putting me through every little thing to make my life like the best misery for the past 2 years and a half. Thank you Pasquale, [haha], for picking me up randomly just to chat with no gas. Thank you Darrell for not leaving and being there. And Thank you God for not being there..

I don't even know if people even read these? Those who do, thanks I guess.
Have a happy Saturday y'all (:

Hello,

Hello nobody.
I'am sitting on my ass doing absolutely nothing.
I hate doing nothing.
I'am sucha spazz.
Hello pretty young thang.
How the heck are ya?
Hello childhood innocence.
I miss you.
Hello temptation.
You'are a frequent sinful visitor.
Hello babe.
I miss you a million times more.
Please show up in my dreams more often.
Please?
Hello unconditional.
Is it Tuesday yet?
You never fail to surprise me with your bullshit.
Hello love.
You haven't visited me yet.
I'am disappointed.
I've only seen your evil twin.
Infatuation.
Good bye infatuation.
I hate you.
You deserve to die.
Hello teenage boy.
You'are quite hormonic these days.
You never look me in the eye when you talk to me ever.
I don't know anymore.
Why you?
I don't know and I really wish I did.
There's got to be a reason why.
Hello teenage girl.
Do you ever stop with your sillyness?
Hello denial.
Do I know you?
Hello Beautiful Mama.
Rest In Peace. My promises to you are forever here.
And lemme tell ya, I'am doing my best.
We love you.
Hello God.
Where are you?
Why do I find you so difficult to reach?
I need you.
All the time.
Everyday.
Hello Sara.
Where are you going?

-.-

I'am not too sure why I am the way I am.
Meaning why I don't give a fk about alotta of things.
I don't know why I don't care 'bout school as much as I should.
I have the potential to be a 4.0 student, but I choose not to do my homework.
I hate studying.
I always zone out in class.
My teachers get mad at me for it.
I like reading, but I get distracted.
I don't know why.
I wish I did.
I wish I could change the evilness in my heart.
I wish I wasn't sucha bitch.
I just want the clutterness, and unnecessary bullshit out.
I just want to leave.
Not permanently, but temporarily.
So when I come back I can be who I really want to be.
And when I come back, you'll see me at my best.
And at my best is which of who I really am..

As you can see, if you didn't already know, this is a image of Adam and Eve with the serpent surrounding them as they are trapped inside the luscious, not so much luscious, green apple.
This is basically the story of our lives. Why? Because this is the story that pretty much started our faith in God as sinners. This is the story that showed us that it is okay if we sin, because in the end God will love you. He is the only person who can ever love each of us unconditionally all day, everyday.
Now how beautiful does that sound. He called and made for us to be sinners so that we can learn from our mistakes. So that we can see our imperfections in each other, and realize that it is okay that we are not perfect. To me, imperfection is beautiful. Why try to be perfect if we can never be? I realize that I make mistakes on a day to day basis. And I also realize that it is okay. I do not try to be perfect in everything I do because I will never be. There's always a mistake somehow, some way. All I can do is to try to love unconditionally.

Temptation: The shit each of us get ourselves into day after day into something that either society says is bad, your parents say is bad, your friends say is bad, or even the Bible (which is by the way just a book with parables to teach us the love God has for us and is not to be taken literal.) We do not know what God is thinking. We do not truly know what is good for us, and what is bad. How the hell would we know. We are just a group of people who say what is good or bad because we are surrounded by people who say what is right and what is wrong. I mean, sure. There are somethings that are truly bad for you and what not, but we are nobody to be the judge of that. I can not tell you that sex is bad, or taking birth control is bad. Or even something as simple as smoking weed, or drinking alcohol. Or even simpler as doing your goddamn homework. I'll let you be the judge of that, along with your best companion, God.

And if you don't have faith, I'll believe for you.