If Only

If only people knew the truth about things. The whole truth. Everything would be so much better. I laugh all the time because how can a person be so stupid. The facts are right in front of you, and you choose to live your life like some sort of princess or something. Girls especially way more than guys. Girls are soo stupid. I admit that I'm probably one of the most intricate individuals out there. I never know what I want with this beautiful gift we have -- life. I want this, and want that. Then there's the I don't want this, and don't want that. I say I don't know to a lot of things because I truly do not know. I confuse myself more than I've been confused by anybody in my life. I'm not very open with people for who knows why. Perhaps its because I don't trust anyone. But I do know that I'm not dumb anymore. Of course I used to be before-- one of the biggest fools out there. I made the biggest mistakes and the most wrong decisions I have ever made growing up. Pffft, and don't worry it sure did bite me in the ass later on. But I learned. I learned not to be so stupid and think intelligently and over analyze everything. Perhaps that's why I have the ability to figure out everything without anybody telling me a word, or just by somebody telling me the smallest words. OR maybe that's why I can tell how a person is by looking at them. Yes, I do judge-- not even going to lie. But I still make mistakes, and I probably will in about a hour. But its okay. I'll get by whether you are here to help me even if I don't tell you everything. And for those who have been there, thank you. I truly appreciate you. Don't get me wrong, I do trust you but just not a lot. There's only certain things I trust about you or trust you with. I don't trust anybody, I'm sorry. That's just the way I am. He sure is right though. There's only so much a person can say or do to make you feel better about yourself or your security with them. Their words don't always make a person feel better. It takes time. Maybe that's why things haven't happened the way I expected em' to be. Maybe that's why he says the things he says, and does what he pleases. Who knows? Because I sure don't. I'm still learning.